78!
Call it self-doubt, self-knowledge or a healthy dose of imposter syndrome, whenever I walk into a room of strangers I never consider myself the smartest one in that room. When I walk into a room at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health (HCSPH), as I've done for the past 4 years to teach graduate students how to negotiate with a culture and gender lens, that feeling is measurably true - statistically, numerically, empirically, I am not the smartest one in the room.
It's important to note here that I'm not someone that is particularly impressed at the mention of Harvard. In fact, the opposite is true. I've worked mindfully to counter the feelings of bias I have when someone drops the "H" word in conversations particularly if they're using it to signal that I should imbue them with positive qualities like intelligence, truthfulness or merit simply because, you know, they went to Harvard.
But HCSPH folks are different. Many are incredibly successful private sector professionals that gave up both sleep and six-figure salaries to become students that will eventually earn non-profit salaries (read: much lower despite my exceptional negotiation skills training), all because they want to make the world a better, healthier place. You may question their choice, but you have to acknowledge that these folks are smart...and not just smart, wicked smart.
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.”
- Confucius - Last week I walked into a room of 78 women and men, many from countries outside of the U.S...different faces, different languages, lots of questions. Between learning how to effectively prepare themselves to ask for what they need to succeed and maximize their opportunities to effectively negotiate on their own behalf, there was laughter...lots of laughter. For over two hours we learned and laughed and connected and it was, as it always is, energizing and just a little bit scary at first. Before starting I asked myself, does it matter that I'm not the smartest one in that room? And the answer was no.
At the very end, after all of the folks that wanted to ask me questions privately had left there was one lovely, petite woman with a thick accent and a warm smile waiting to talk with me. She told me how much she enjoyed the workshop and how much she laughed while she learned. She said something along the lines of the guest lecturers they're used to seeing usually make it very hard for students to ask questions. They fret over choosing their words carefully so as to not "seem stupid" when engaging with highly respected guests she told me. But that wasn't the case with me. With me, she said they could relax and not be worried about asking questions...I wasn't like their usual respected guest lecturers.
I smiled and told her that it felt like she had just confirmed my suspicion that I wasn't the smartest one in the room. "I actually think you just called me stupid but you said it so nicely how could I be angry?" I told her. Her eyes opened wide as she shook her head vigorously from side to side and we laughed some more.
No, I am not the smartest one in the room and I'm glad to say I really don't need to be.
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