When I started teaching at Emerson College in 2012, I had zero experience teaching college courses. I had been training others in negotiation and alternative dispute resolution skills (mediation, conciliation and arbitration) since 2003, but those were hour, day or week-long trainings, not full semesters. And I taught adults - attorneys, judges, assorted court personnel, human resource professionals, even accountants and scientists, but I had never taught college kids.
I remember vividly that first day in front of the class. I wore my lucky grey dress, tan heels and my dad's watch. Unfortunately my dad had passed away a year before I started teaching and while he was beaming with pride when I was sworn in as an attorney in 1993, for him, the highest calling was being a college professor. He was an architect and in addition to designing a number of notable college buildings, he would guest speak about his work to college students any chance he could get.*
I remember how nervous I was on that first day. 20 students sitting in front of me for Conflict and Negotiation at 10 a.m. (and another 20 for the same course at 4 p.m.). Mostly juniors and seniors, they were definitely more comfortable than I was. I had no idea how much to prepare for an hour and forty-five minute class and I completely under-prepared (which was the opposite of what I did for the first ever mid-term exam I gave them: it had 50 questions and when I asked them what they thought of it afterward, some of them actually cried...needless to say, I adjusted and am proud to say that I haven't made a student cry since).
At the end of that first class I walked back to my office and as I passed the office building where my dad worked before he retired, I remember looking up and thinking to myself, "One down, only 25 more classes to go."
That's pretty much how I survived that first semester: finishing each class, one at a time and counting down how many were left to go. It worked out pretty well: 9 years later I'm still teaching and I learned from my "first 40 little guinea pigs" as much as they learned from me (and I'm still in contact with many of them across the world which is the only reason I'm on Facebook at all).
As we near the end of 2021, it dawns on me that that's the way I've managed to keep going this past year: one class, one mediation, one meeting, and sometimes just one conversation at a time.
My ombuds client list tripled, as did the volume of that work and while that was very fortunate and personally beneficial, it just exhausted me. Facing students twice a week at times seemed to be an almost insurmountable task despite the fact that anyone that knows me knows that I love "my kids" and that teaching really sustains me.
Like in 2012, having to take things extra slowly, one at a time - which, for anyone that knows me knows isn't my style - actually made it possible for me to keep going. Who knows if it will still work in a month or in a year or even next week... but for now, it's working.
I hope this past year you've found a way to keep going that works for you, and as 2021 draws to a close, I wish you a new year filled with peace and pace, focus and fortitude, health and happiness.
Happy holidays and happy new year!
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*While my dad never got to see me teach my college courses, he was front and center in my mind when I received a teaching award in 2018. Here's the video link.
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