rethink, respond, resolve
(this is my real human-generated tag line)
On March 13th I was in NYC with folks from Elektra (both in person and virtually from LA) talking about Inspiring Inclusion in the Workplace. The best part wasn’t that it was the first workshop I’ve done in a space that felt like a nightclub I wouldn’t be cool enough to be let into (although that was pretty cool), the best part was that I was invited there by a former student of mine, Mackenzie (class of 2015) who remembered my classes and reached out...now that's cool!
Can I check your collaborative references?
Most of my clients for both permanent ombudsing and contract work, are organizations and institutions that engage in very detailed, time-consuming and protracted hiring processes. They carefully craft job descriptions that balance aspirational areas a potential new hire might be interested in pursuing with realistic responsibilities and expectations of actually being able to deliver on those opportunities. They scrutinize a potential hire’s resume or CV and try to glean insights from prior positions, they evaluate the weightiness of publications to which they’ve contributed, and they check the credibility of their references and any exemplary engagements - whether honorary or compensated - that would demonstrate the candidate’s gravitas (and, if we’re being honest, bring the hiring organization more prestige).
During what are usually multiple rounds of interviews with multiple interviewers, they ask questions aimed at developing an idea about who this candidate is off-paper. Are they serious? Are they relatable? What’s their plan if they’re hired? What do they want to bring to the organization and what do they hope to achieve? And some variation of the question: how well do they work with others?
This last question is given little weight even though it’s arguably the most important predictor of a successful hire and productive working relationship. Invariably applicants respond to the question in the affirmative - yes, they work well individually and also as part of a team. How could they not? Even for the bold few who may transparently share a slight preference for working solo to being on a team, could you imagine the response they’d get if their audacious honesty prompted them to reply “I don’t really get along with others and teamwork is a struggle for me?”
They can’t be truly honest, if this is the case because at that moment, they have to say that they can get along to not foreclose the opportunity of being hired. Some of them likely genuinely believe that they do indeed get along well with others, often thinking that the “other” or the “system” were the impetus for their departure. These folks have a giant blind spot on how they create or contribute to the workplace friction they’re often seeking to escape. Others, however, have a preference, desire, or need to work alone and not be part of a team if they can help it. They won’t share that because they know the right answer is to say they can and do work well with others. Either way, if we rely on what a candidate says in response to this question in the moment, we could very well be bringing someone into the fold who either hasn’t been able to develop successful working relationships with their colleagues and if that’s the case, chances are good that they won’t be able to develop successful working relationships when they’re part of our team either.
Why is that important? Because adding someone who doesn’t navigate working relationships productively, regardless of whether their actual job responsibilities require them to work as part of a team, creates friction. I know because it’s my job to “fix” that friction. If the environment they’re being brought into doesn’t support their learning how to be a good colleague - and even worse - if everyone around them is conflict avoidant and there’s no structure for accountability, what’s created are deeper, long-term issues requiring significant energy and effort to address. And that’s if they’re actually addressed. Anecdotally (at least among ombuds), it’s pretty clear that a not insignificant number of employees would rather leave a workplace than deal with a conflictual colleague. But if the new hire themselves manages others or is in a position of leadership, talent attrition around them is a significant and quantifiable thing. [Side note: conflict communication skills training, facilitated group conversations and mediation can really help with that.]
To address this issue, I suggest employers ask for and check what I call “collaborative references” - folks who have been identified by the applicant themselves who can speak to their ability to work collaboratively. For folks who may be concerned about opening a door to employer liability, what I’m suggesting here is that the applicant be asked to provide the name of someone who, in their individual capacity, knows and can speak to the applicant’s abilities in the context of collaboration and managing disagreements. This can be a former work colleague (preferably more than one), and/or someone from a community group, religious organization, volunteer group or even a social group to which this individual belongs. These individuals would be asked two simple questions: 1. In your assessment, how well does the applicant get along with others, particularly those who have different life experiences, opinions, or ideas than they do? 2. If you’ve ever seen them in conflict - with yourself or someone else - how did they manage the situation?
You likely know where I’m going with question 1 so you know there’s added benefit to be gained from asking that question. And with regard to question 2, there is a world of information that can be gleaned from the response. Most importantly, I am not suggesting that someone who is otherwise qualified be disqualified from consideration simply because of the feedback received from these two questions.
What I am suggesting however is that a new hire’s ability to work collaboratively is equally as important as their substantive skills, and if their substantive skills are worth hiring them for, employers should - for the sake of the entire organization - provide them with support in this area. These supports include setting clear expectations around collaboration and communications, ensuring there’s a structure and a culture that holds everyone accountable to those standards, and providing interactive conflict skills training, among others.
If you think about it, checking for collaborative references is minimal up-front effort that could yield potentially enormous savings in time, energy and attrition later on. One recent report estimates that American employees spend an average 2.8 hours each week involved in conflict, which translates to $359 billion in hours that are focused on conflict instead of their work. Reference checking costs far less than that, and as long as employers are already checking applicants’ professional references for things they say they’ve done skill-wise, why not check their collaborative references as well?
TikTok Trend ... I Couldn't Help Myself
Yes, the "of course" is a TikTok trend and I deleted my account over a year ago, but I couldn't help but jump into it and share the Ombuds edition on social media. To my Ombuds friends: I'll know what I'm talking about and I'm sorry to miss you all at IOA this year!
This is where AI wanted me to tell you to contact me for a free consultation but instead, here's more shockingly good (but still not particularly personal) text it created on behalf of fixerrr: At fixerrr, we believe that every challenge is an opportunity for growth and improvement. Whether you're a business owner dealing with a difficult employee, a team struggling with communication issues, or an individual seeking personal development, we are here to help.
Conflicts are a natural part of life, but how we handle them can greatly impact the outcome. In this month's newsletter, we'll share tips and strategies for effectively resolving conflicts in various contexts.
I'll sign off here (personally) in the way I end my classes at Emerson College: Be smart, Stay safe, and Make the World a Better Place!
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